(Published in the Bali Daily News paper, December 2012)


Urban tourism,
schoolies and Toolies

 

Bali, once famous for its pristine villages and natural scenery is now embracing a new form of tourism centred around the increasingly popular by-passes and ring roads. Enlightened developers, wary of 
the inconsistency of Balinese culture -- once known as  "Unity in Diversity"-- are now putting  their full weight behind a 'cerebral neutral' culture that involves mindless mallscapes, seahorse motifs and fire dances modelled on the watered-down cultural shows of Waikiki. 

Budget hotels are popping up in highway greenbelts like magic mushrooms: they guarantee a mediocre, culture-neutral experience with panoramic views of some of the best traffic snarls in Asia. Just before Christmas I spent three blissful hours in the traffic on the way  from Canggu to the airport and got to see into so many exciting budget hotel bedrooms -- glass curtain walls are de rigeur -- and see gatherings of my countrymen as they struggled along the fast-vanishing adventure footpaths. 

Sydney at 7 a.m. the next morning was obscene -- all green and glarey with ocean views and a pathetic amount of billboards. 

Funny enough Sydney is regularly voted the best city in the world and Bali the best island, but Bali is doing more to up-grade.

To help promote urban tourism and the worship of the by-pass the local government has started decorating the median strips with tiered water features, arty black concrete stumps and souvenir-quality Baris dancer statues so that drivers can look straight ahead and still feel the thrill of dumbed-down Bali. And to make the Duty-Free round-a-bout underpass project more interesting the detours, the signage and the traffic police are moved every day.

On Jetstar flights from Perth (and soon to extend to flights from Darwin, Brisbane and Sydney) one can pre-bead in the back three rows; and Bir Bintang singlets are handed out to any passengers in long sleeves or T-shirts. 

So pervasive is the cry for neutrality in the hotel industry that the airport has followed suit with starfish and fern pavement motifs and leafleteers in satin voodoo girl mini-skirts and exotic headdresses. The Balinese guarding the tour buses in the airport carparks are not oblivious to the needs of the culture-neutral tourist  -- even though their own lives are still rich with Hindu rituals -- and are careful to only offer Planet Seahorse type options to the pre-beaded, arm-hair proud arrivees. As a result the traditional tourism haunts such as the Sangeh Monkey Forest and the Batu Bulan Barong Dances are dying a slow death.

A recent survey discovered that most Australians now go to Bali to get shit-faced and see a fire dance or drag show in the Seminyak district local homosexualists call the 'Gaza Strip'. The Australian rev-head bikie gang The Rebels now has a chapter in Bali. Bal also has over 30 cricket clubs and an excellent  new fish and chip shop in Mertasari, Sanur. 

The great Australian 'Schoolies'  tradition held during the last week of November -- started in the 1980s in the fiercely culture-neutral Gold Coast of Queensland  --
has recently moved to Bali as well. It involves teenagers indulging in  alcohol-feuled  rampages of hedonism and aggressive behaviour . A vigilante group of  Australians called the Red Frogs now sends volunteers to Kuta  where they annually set up red tents on the beach, to council rampagers and hand out condoms. A slightly less altruistic Australian group, the Toolies, consisting of an a more mature cross-section of Australian alcoholic ,now follow the Schoolies to Bali to prey on  younger  Schoolies.

"An island gets the tourists it deserves" a Sanur-based pundit recently opined, but I tend to dis-agree. The Balinese culture is still magnificent. There ARE still lots of immaculate rice-field views and gorgeous villages, and a few fairly un-trampled beaches. In this current tsunami of the tasteless lets not lose the original flavour.

 

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