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THE INNAUGURAL MISS PARMESHWAR VIJAY MAY DAY AWARDS
These awards were launched in the Worker’s Lounge of Sahara “Emotionally Yours” Airlines at Bangalore on 1 May 2003
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THE MACHIAVELLI AWARD for ingenious manipulation of Balinese Gardeners by a Billionaire
FIRST PLACE: Mr. Argarwal Industrialist of Bangalore Who
in April 2003 managed to co-erce a team of Bali”s finest away
from their legitimate place of employ, under false pretenses, to work
at his house. Special
details: Not one rupee tip AND Mr. Argarwal kept their imported tools!! Miss
Vijay comments: Meticulous planning by this spry young nuclear reactor
owner secured the award.
RUNNER UP: Mr. Edward Tan Condom King of Ipoh, Malaysia For
ditching Balinese by the roadside after a two month make-over of his
“Bali on a Hill” theme park and multi purpose convention
facility.
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TONY SOPRANO AWARD for poetry in the workplace
FIRST PLACE: Mr. Richard Soo Financier of Singapore For
his charitable comment during a final landscape presentation of his
beautiful colonial mansion garden: (to the presenting new-Balinese who
was struggling to explain the beauty of the night blooming Cirrus) “You’ve
got shit coming out of both sides of your mouth” (June 2002)
RUNNER UP: Maria EL Assir of Gstaad Soto Grande and Mustique “I
hate red fucking flowers you arsehole”
THIRD PLACE: Francis Ford Lincoln Coppola “Don’t
get your Balinese to give me any of that Miama Thunderbird shit”
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LINDA TRIP AWARD for thwarting Bangladeshi passion in the workplace
Mrs. Tan Peng Hong of Tanglin Road, Singapore For
locking in a Bangladeshi gardener and a Javanese maid after having relation
in the maids quarters on a Sunday, and ringing the police. (November
2002)
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KIASU FLIPOUT AWARD & LIFETIME “CURSE OF VIJAY” for desecration of a balinese shrine in a workplace
Ms. Patty “Zen Warrior” Mak of Suying Design, Singapore Who
willfully ordered the demolition by right wing Prebysterians of a beautiful
handcrafted empowered shrine just completed by a team of Balinese gardeners
without so much as a word of explanation. (July 2002)
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LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
HSH Idanna “Don’t give me any of that
Rp 50,000 for that transport shit” Pucci of Florence and New York (With
special mention for accusing a Balinese plants contractor of stealing
all the plants for her house from the Bali Hyatt in order to get out
of paying for the contract. ($876 owed since 1982))
Captain Nair C.E.O. of Leela Hotels, India For
a lifetime devoted to ripping off designers in Asia. Special citation
for telling a team of Balinese that they would be paid the US$ 20,000
owed after 4 months work only if they turned the staff carpark into
a mogul garden overnight, which they did, and he still stiffed them.
Truly inspiring work, Captain, you’re old unit would no doubt
be proud of you. (The
debt is to date unsettled)
Chris “Too Cottagey” Norton V.P. Four Seasons Resort Int’l For
the systematic destruction over five years of the Four Seasons Resort
Jimbaran gardens (ONCE the tropical hotel world’s finest) under
the guise of regime change. (Special citation for making union provocateurs
Supervisors, over the bodies of the team who built the original garden;
and for services to leatherette sportswear in the Balinese workplace
(with apologies to Mr. Yuri Gorbachev).
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2003 HONOUR ROLE for the seriously rich who managed to con free house or garden designs out of a Balinese
company in a bomb year
Mr. Mark Ellert Owner of the Regent Hotel, Winter Park, Miami
Mr. Abdel Rachman El Assir of “Shogun” Mustique
Richard “Miss Universe Pageant” Seow Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Dr. Menegatti Italian Ambassador, Delhi |
